


Too Late to Change

by HockeyMatchmaking



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationship, M/M, Warning: abuse/non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-22 23:00:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/615323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HockeyMatchmaking/pseuds/HockeyMatchmaking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I froze, my whole body stopping movement as I realized how serious the subject we were discussing was. "I ei know how you say in English." Rinne was getting extremely nervous as his English degraded and some muttered Finnish began to intersperse along with it. "How has he tried to leave?" I asked quietly, and Rin glanced up, shocked. His eyes looked frightened and young, so impossibly young. "Kyllä, erm. Yes…I suppose, but ei…no." He muttered, rubbing his face in his hands. The last straw, when I knew I was right, was when I saw the dark bruises on the skin above Rinne's sleeve. Oh fuck. So…that was it then.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Late to Change

**Author's Note:**

> I don't mean this to offend anyone or remind them of bad things that have happened to them. This is purely fictional, and has not happened, as far as I know, to the people mentioned in it. Although, there is a lot of abuse that happens in and around sports.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. This is all fiction and has not, to my knowledge, ever happened in real life.
> 
> In case it isn't obvious, this is written in the first person from the view point of Shea Weber.

When he started coming to practices wearing long sweaters, no one thought it was strange but me. Everyone else wrote it off as being 'another crazy Finnish custom'. But I knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew. And it took me god knows how long to realize it. But I knew; and that only made it worse once I truly understood the severity of the situation.

We didn't think anything of it though, mostly because Pekka had never changed in the dressing room with the rest of the guys, and he was always a quiet fellow.

One day we went out to a bar after the game, and Rinne sat next to me and Mason, wearing his ridiculously thick sweater, with a high collar. He looked warm, I could see the sweat glistening on his forehead, but since he didn't make any move to take off the sweater, I didn't mention it. I wish to fucking god that I had. I wish I had noticed sooner; the wincing, the pain, the shyness. It was so obvious, but I didn't see it until it was too late.

I'd had a few beers, and my arm fell over Pekka's shoulder. We were friends, so I didn't think anything of it, but then Mason started shooting me looks. Jealous looks, murderous looks. I frowned back at him, wondering if I'd have to talk with him, but Rinne shot me a sideways glance and a warm feeling curled in my stomach. Yeah, there was definitely something wrong with me. Had been for a long time. I was in love with my teammate. My loveable, shy, quirky, goaltending teammate.

I ignored Mason and moved my arm farther down, curling it around Rin. Claiming him. "Move your arm." Mason growled, staring me down. I'd never noticed before, but his eyes were a little too bright, too wild, too crazy. When I didn't move my arm, Pekka whimpered. "Please move your arm, Webs." He murmured and, if possible, Mason looked even more pissed off. "Do it." He growled, and I did, frowning a bit as Rinne shivered.

Mason murmured something to Rin and the pair stood, "We're gonna go." Pekka whispered, gazing down at the floor. No one else heard them but me, and I nodded, confused. Pekka stared at me with a pleading gaze and I frowned again. "Um…or not?" I murmured, not sure what Rinne wanted me to do. The Fin shook slightly as Mason through a casual arm around him and lead him away without another word.

I stared mournfully after them, and one of the guys ribbed me about my 'puppy dog eyes'. I laughed and forgot the strange, wild look it Mason's eyes for the time being.

Nothing happened about it for the longest time, I kept noticing strange little things that were off about Pekka. But anytime I asked anyone else casually about them, they had no idea what I was talking about. I watched Rin so closely, and intensely, that I saw more than other people did. I never asked him out, since he was obviously in a relationship, and that would just be an awkward conversation to have.

But then, quite a few months after I started noticing Pekka's strange behaviour, he came to me. Shivering with nervousness, the Fin awkwardly stood in the locker room, we were the last people left there, as Rinne waited to get up his nerve I suppose. I'd never seen him look so worried, and so I just stared at him, memorizing the lines in his face as I waited.

"S-so, say I know a guy." He murmured, finally breaking the silence, his elusive gaze finally meeting mine. His beautiful blue eyes sent a shiver of hope through my body. It was like an electric shock, pulsing through my whole body at once. "Alright." I said, sitting beside him on the bench. "And, um, he…h-he was r-r-r-r-raped?" Rinne muttered, looking away from me again.

I froze, my whole body stopping movement as I realized how serious the subject we were discussing was. "I ei know how you say in English." Rinne was getting extremely nervous as his English degraded and some muttered Finnish began to intersperse along with it. "Um. Over and over again? Er…Pahoinpitely…" The Fin asked and I frowned for a moment, trying to reconcile what he was saying.

"Abuse you mean?" I asked gently, and Rin nodded furiously, his gaze still on the floor. "He was…abused? and he…wants out of the relationship…his partner is…strong." The Fin said after a long moment of contemplation. He looked like he had to consider every word. As though he might make a mistake, an important one. "Is his partner another man?" I inquired softly, and Pekka glanced down, a light blush spreading along his cheeks as he nodded.

"How has he tried to leave?" I asked quietly, and Rin glanced up, shocked. His eyes looked frightened and young, so impossibly young. "Kyllä, erm. Yes…I suppose, but ei…no." He muttered, rubbing his face in his hands. "He said that he said pysäkki, and the man did not…he continued the pahoinpitely. My…friend was väärin..." Rinne murmured and I frowned a bit, not sure what he meant.

Before he could explain, his phone buzzed and he jumped. He looked nervously at the screen and his face fell as he read the text. "Uh, I have to go…but…thanks?" Rinne said, bustling off quickly. I sat there, confused, for the longest time.

The next night when we went to the bar, I saw the way Mason brushed his hand across Rinne's arm, and lightly shook his head when Pekka tried to order a third beer. The strangest thing was that the Fin listened to him, he motioned for the server to not bring him the beer. In that moment, I understood what Rinne had truly wanted from our conversation. The last straw, when I knew I was right, was when I saw the dark bruises on the skin above Rinne's sleeve. Oh fuck. So…that was it then.

"You little fuck." I said, glaring at Mason, who raised an eyebrow at me. Dark swirling anger churned within me, and I almost snapped at the man, but refrained. "You sick fucker." I growled, slightly too loud. The burning anger filled me, and it was horrible to imagine Pekka being abused by Mason. The anger welled up and up and soon I was standing and yelling at the other man.

"Rin flinched you fucker, do you not know that means to stop?" I screamed, livid with the other man, and Pekka looked at me with hopeful eyes. He looked like I was his knight in shining armour, and Mason looked like he was about to kill me. "When he says ei, that means fucking no." I growled, leaping on the defiant looking man. I punched him as one of our teammates grabbed me and pulled me back, everyone was staring at us, confused, as Mason began swearing back at me.

The teammate pulled me away from the table as I only softly struggled with him, Rin leapt up and followed us, shivering as he left his abuser behind. The teammate shoved me outside, and I took a deep breath. Pekka murmured to the teammate that he would keep an eye on me. "Are-are you okay?" I whispered after a moment, my breath streaming out, clouding the air with my words.

"Olen kunnossa, kiitos." He mumbled in Finnish, and I frowned, and after a moment he analyzed what he'd said and realized that wasn't English. "I'm fine, thank you so much." Rinne said hesitantly and I spun to pull him into a tight hug. I breathed in the scent of him, soap, deodorant and beer all swirled into a delightful cocktail of smells. I held onto him like he was going to break apart if I didn't, and he hung onto me like I was the only thing saving him from drowning.

"Rakastan sinua." He murmured into my neck and my body intuitively reacted to the smooth sound of him speaking Finnish. Maybe I had a bit of a fetish, I dunno, but hearing Rin speak his native language really turned me on. I pulled back to stare into his hopeful, but slightly hurt, eyes, and I found myself leaning closer and closer, until I was finally kissing him. It was sweet and soft and lovely, but then I heard Pekka  whimper into it and I realized I was getting too forceful.

I pulled back and stammered an apology, and he just ducked his head, murmuring an apology back to me. We went back to my house, because Rin didn't want to be alone, understandably. After I got Pekka settled into the guest room I fell asleep, after a long time of staring at the ceiling and trying to control my anger. Suddenly, in the middle of the night, I awoke from a fitful sleep to the sound of moaning from the other room.

"Nngh. Nghh. Pysäkki! Pysäkki Chris! Lopeta. Ei, ei. Lopeta!" Rin tossed and turned, and I stuck my head into the room to hear him groaning in Finnish. I sat carefully on the edge of his bed, wondering how I could comfort him. Should I touch him to wake him up? Or would that just freak him out more? Should I talk to him? Maybe that would be best, I finally decided.

"Rin, wake up. Wake up Pekka. It's just a dream, Rin. It's okay." I said clearly, and he just tossed some more, so I moved to put my hand on his arm, because now he'd started sobbing, and I was really frightened.

_"You fucked up again, Pekka. You are a worthless human being. Grow some fucking self respect." Chris growled, and Rinne shivered, backing away from the stronger, tougher man. He'd tried to tell Chris that it scared him when he did this type of thing, but Chris just yelled at him for it. Rinne knew that he was worthless; Chris had told him that enough times that it was simply a fact, and therefore, he had nowhere to go if he were to leave his boyfriend. Who would want to help him? He should be hated by everyone, because he couldn't do anything right._

_The stronger man stepped forward, and his fist connected with Rinne's face, stinging and burning sensations spread across his body as the other man hit him in various places; stripping off his clothing at the same time. Chris growled some more insults as he shoved him down on the bed and pounded into the quivering man, without any warning, preparation or lube. The Fin cried out as the other man grunted for him to be quiet. He retreated in his own mind to the place where everything was okay, and people loved him._

_He wished that he could just go back home, where everything was simpler and less confusing. Where there were no Chris's and someone loved and cared for him. But Chris loved him, right? Rinne thought he did, but sometimes he wasn't sure, like when the other man hit him and forced him to have sex. Although it was usually when Chris was drunk, or when Rinne had done something particularly stupid, even for him._

_"Pysäkki, lopeta." Pekka begged, and Chris shushed him, his finger's viciously poking one of the many bruises that mottled Rinne's body. "Stop. Stop it. Ei." He tried again, this time mostly in English, and Chris just wrapped a hand around his mouth, restricting his airflow. The Fin tried to breathe through his nose, but it was still fucked up from the punch Chris had thrown a few weeks ago after a loss to Carolina._

_"En voi hengittää." He gasped out and as he choked on the salty hand of his boyfriend. Thankfully Chris moved his hand when he heard the note of sheer panic in the other man's voice. Rinne took a rasping breath of air, his thankful lungs happy to have oxygen once again._

_That was when Rinne realized that he had to get help. He knew that he was worthless and no one would probably help him anyway, but he had to try. He didn't want someone to find his lifeless body in a ditch somewhere, and he found himself remembering a conversation he'd overheard once. Weber had been talking to Ellis and they'd been talking about publicity and appearances. He recalled that Ellis had been complaining about having to go to sign autographs, etcetera. and Webs had said: "They are all important in their own right. Even the housewives, and the children are important to someone. It's worth it to make even one person happier. Even if you're only remotely improving their happiness, it's important."_

_That was why he knew he had to talk to Shea about what was happening to him. Chris came inside him with a groan, and then pulled out abruptly, startling the goalie. "I hope you've learned something from this." He growled, pinching Rinne one last time._

I gasped as Rinne leapt out of his dream, looking around wildly, his face set in an expression of absolute terror as he awaited a punch. I moved and he flinched, moving his arm up to shield his face from the blow. I felt so sorry for him as he peeked out at me from behind his arm. "It's just a dream, it's okay Rin. I'm here." I whispered, linking my hands together awkwardly in front of me, trying to prove to him that I wasn't going to hit him.

"Kyllä." He breathed out, rubbing a hand over his face. Exhaustion creeping back in to his expression, as the fear slowly filtered out. The fear always remained, sometimes only a bit, but it was always there. He got better, and Mason was forced to leave the team.

Rinne and I soon entered a cautionary relationship, with lots of fumbling and mishaps along the way. But we loved each other, and we knew that if we could make it work, we could be great together. So we kept on working at it, and eventually, the fear left Rin's eyes altogether.

 

~End.

**Author's Note:**

> Was it too sad?
> 
> Kyllä = yes  
> Ei = not/no  
> Lopeta = stop it  
> Pysäkki = stop  
> Rakastan sinua = I love you  
> Kultaseni = my love  
> Pahoinpitely = abuse  
> Olen kunnossa = I am fine  
> Kiitos = thank you  
> Väärin = abused  
> En voi hengittää = I can't breathe


End file.
